Sitting at my laptop, with a cup of coffee, on Thanksgiving morning is unusual for me. Normally, I would be prepping the turkey for its entry into the oven and starting my holiday dinner run around. Equally unusual is the fact that I am not cooking dinner today. Something that over the last 15 years I think has happened only once. And today, I am thankful for it. Thank you to my sister in law, who is hosting today, for allowing me this moment to sit with my coffee at my laptop.
As I sit in writers silence (only the sound of the keyboard), I can’t help thinking about the complexity of the world we live in and the life we are supposed to lead by design, if there is such a thing. My life, despite the ups and downs, is more than worth living. It may not be filled with travel (due to a serious fear of flying) and excitement, or thrilling expeditions, or zany antics or one laugh after the other, but it is my life and I am thankful for it. I will take the zaniness and laughter as it occurs, which is already not in short supply. The travel however? Maybe 2012 will be my year. The year of the valium.
The status of my relationships with friends, family or co-workers may change and ebb and flow. That is the nature of relationships. I hate to hurt people’s feelings. Hate it. And if I inadvertently do it, I feel terrible. This past year has been a learning experience for me in areas such as: How not to act. What not to say. Who to trust. At 42 years old, I still feel like a student.
But that is life and if I love life, I have to endure every part of it and be willing to embrace it. It builds people.
My husband and children. Now, that is where the greatest of the love and toughest of the tough happen. Raising kids and being a partner are the most fun, the best of the best but sometimes, the most difficult and challenging. With them, all of the things that make up the meaning of life get rolled out into the carpet. Year to year, we face new forms of utter happiness and frustrations. It seems to change as months roll by, what we focus on. I am well aware, as I inch closer and closer, into the teenage years, that hormones change everything and I am awaiting for some big almighty switch to be flipped. So far, so good. But I am ready with my emotional suit of armor and my tough love badge, for the worst.
What am I thankful for?
My husband. He is the string to my balloon. There he is, on the ground, tugging at my hot air as I float back and forth. He reminds me to stay grounded when I am up above, in the distant clouds. If it weren’t for him, we’d be homeless living on the streets of Vegas.
My son. The person that made me a Mother. His sweet face and love of creativity, acting, music and football have brought me to places I never thought I would be and have regretted not going to until now. He is thoughtful, caring, intelligent, funny and stubborn. I love all of the things he is. I admire him.
My daughter. Her inner peace and kindness help me to be more giving. She accepts all people, no matter who they are. She is loving, kind, diplomatic, goofy and a crazy sports fanatic (Ugh). I overdosed on sports fanatics a long time ago, but for her, I’d sit thru 40 tee ball games in one day.
I am lucky to have extended family and friends who would walk through fire for me, and me for them. What else could you possibly want? I don’t care what kind of car I drive, how big my house is or what kind of ring is on my finger. The labels on my clothes don’t matter, the number of big screen TVs in my house is insignificant and the latest “thing” is just that. A thing.
All of this is normal, right? Of course I love my family and friends. Sure. The tragedy happens when I don’t let them know how I feel. That is regrettable. I can feel this all I want, but if I don’t say it out loud to the people that matter, then it’s all crap.
So, on this Thanksgiving, I will tell the people who matter the most, just why they matter. It doesn’t get old. And though the kids might roll their eyes because they have heard it a million times before, I will keep telling them.
I truly wish you a wonderfully joyous and meaningful Thanksgiving.
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