I am a very lucky mother of two children, with a no-nonsense approach to parenting. I find myself in an almost constant state of struggle with the notion that both of my kids will wind up seeking psychotherapy, someday, in my honor. This blog is my way of confessing my potential sins, in advance.
My first born, is a son, my second born, a daughter. Both lovely kids. I must say that early on, when I knew I was having a girl (and thrilled with the prospect), I had a very specific plan of attack. One of my first strategic moves in the battle to raise a woman of independence, came in the form of my own "adaptation" of story telling.
I have always despised fairy tales. Well...not always. I remember loving them as a child. The pretty dresses, the flowing hair, the handsome prince, the perfect breasts and waistlines. The magnificient endings that always saved the girl from the depths of despair. What's not to love? Right? As time passed, I began to realize just how non-fairy-tale-like things are. Not because I personally have had a heart wrenching experience, but how the whole idea of life resembling a fairy tale might just set some of us up for a disappointment.
I have never read to my daughter the traditional "Cinderella", "Sleeping Beauty", "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", or "Rapunzel" or any of the other well known tales that most parents read to their little girls. Not word for actual word, anyway. I would always fudge the ending, just a little.
In our house, the following are the 'slight' edits that I feel offer a much more appropriate conclusion to the classic tales and also aid in successfully raising a girl that lives in this century. Cut to the endings:
Cinderella: Before joining hands with her Prince Charming for their happy ending, Cinderella would share her dreams of launching and designing her own line of women's speciality footwear, capitalizing on her love of the glass slipper. There would be no "riding off into the sunset" until her dream was accomplished. Then, and only then, they could settle down and do what happy, royal couples do.
Snow White: Once freed from the clutches of the evil witch's spell, Snow White expresses her idea to the Prince of starting her own organic (non-poisonous) apple orchard. One that would produce many a yummy apple pie, candied apples, applesauce, and organic apple baby food, to keep all, throughout the land, healthy and happy.
Sleeping Beauty: Princess Aurora does not marry Philip right away. Instead she will pursue her PHD in Psychiatry with a focus in Sleep Disorders. Much better ending.
Rapunzel: After spending all that time in the Tower, Rapunzel opts for traveling the world, applying and getting accepted to law school, and successfully passing the bar before becoming a wife. Tucking her long locks into a professional chignon for court appearances.
Unconventional? Yes. Damaging? Hopefully not.
My daughter, upon hearing these endings, snuggled in my lap or tucked tightly into bed, seemed just as satisfied as I once did with a 'happy ending'. A little smile would crinkle across her nose or she would expand on my ending using her own imagination. Sometimes, she would chuckle, probably at my craziness.
Today my daughter is a very sweet, caring 11-year-old. Not unlike many other 11-year-old girls. I'm not trying to indicate that she is 'special'. She has no desire for make up, she thinks boys are 'creepy', she believes that Justin Beiber is a mutant, and pays no attention to the likes of Miley Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan. She thinks dating is for when you are older, like, when you are college age. She wants to be a farmer. She thinks for herself. She takes good care of herself and is keenly aware of others around her.
I hope her happy ending includes pushing herself to her full potential, finding a true love of life and doing what makes her harmoniously happy. I don't want her to feel the need to be 'saved' by someone else. If she decides to share all of those wonderful things with a partner, then all the better. I truly don't care who she selects for her partner, as long as they support her and love her and she is content.
I, of course, want this for both of my children. For all children, really.
The End.
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